It has been so long since I fell in love for the first time.
For me, nothing is the same. I don’t have the same friends, I don’t live in the same country, I don’t think the same way I used to.
But, I still remember us like it was yesterday. The ‘us’ that doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe it never did.
Today, after all these years of running scenarios in my head about what I will say to you when we meet, how I will try to hide my tears, how I will remember your voice immediately. What I feel is not what I anticipated.
You haven’t changed. Not one bit.
But you are not the one I fell in Love with. You are the same, but for me things are different. I see you now. For who you actually are. And not what I thought you were in my head.
What’s strange is that I have said everything, from ‘I Love you’ to ‘I am done’ to you. From ‘hi’ to ‘goodbye’. From ‘love’ to ‘anger’. But what I never thought I would ever say to you is-nothing. There have never been any silences between us. Until now.
I guess this ‘us’ still exists. In silence, not having anything to say, not saying anything.