Have you heard the phrase “right place, right time?” Well, it comes to my mind when I look at this beautiful book with a thoughtful cover. It seemed like a gift for me while I was rambling around at a local bookstore. We have all faced rejections in our lives, some earlier than the others, perhaps even more in number. But nevertheless, it’s been a part of everyone’s life. I wasn’t spared either and the juvenile mindset I had thanks to my privileged background didn’t help. It took me a long time to realise that I am not entitled to all that I want. Rejection teaches you that.
The book is written by Bacal , director of Reflective and Integrative Practices at Smith College. It includes stories and tips by 25 women working in this male dominant society who have managed to succeed despite the rejections they have faced and how they reflect back on these stories to have learnt lessons worth sharing. Bacal argues that women take rejection differently than men and that rejection reinforces a message that one dreads deeply- You don’t belong. Rejection makes us question our worth and confirms that we’re not good enough. One of the quotes from the book that will stay with me is Pamela Shifman saying “It feels like we’re in a moment when women’s power is unprecedented”. And the book does full justice to this statement.
25 different women, from different professional fields come together to make one understand how flawed the system is and how certain prejudices still do exist in modern times that have made people ignorant to sexism or racism or both . Written in 4 parts, the author shares the stories of 25 strong women surrounding rejection. The first one enlightens us about rejection being nothing but data that happens to everyone . Silver lining is that failure and disappointment help us develop grit and resilience. Tracking rejections might help recognize shortcoming and find informative patterns.
The second part focuses on creativity on the other side of rejection. This one is rather a more romanticized concept . A breakup is often known to fuel artists to come up with groundbreaking work. Rachel Platten’s story moved me and inspired me to let my inner artist be wild and unafraid.
The best take away from the book for me comes in the third part, implying that rejection is a muscle . Dealing with a rejection can strengthen you. That doesn’t mean that it stops being painful . It does mean that you’ll get better at dealing with it and not get crushed. It’s courageous to put yourself out there, risking being let down but putting your best foot forward nevertheless.
The fourth part teaches about the blessing in disguise that rejection brings. What initially feels like rejection might actually be a redirection. Only time will tell.
One must remember that through all this it’s important to have faith in yourself and be kind and compassionate towards self. Know that a lot of times rejection or failure is up to chance and not really a reflection of how well you did.
At the end of the book Bacal offers some exercises that I found to be extremely resourceful.
This is a must read to gain some insight in such competitive times.