I am guilty of using this word like a catch-all term. Maybe because it’s one the most optimistic words in my vocabulary. Heck! I have a tattoo on my body that symbolises hope. The reason why I always resort to hope is because I know that it works. I know it’s magical. The times when I was going through hardships, the only thing that kept me going was having HOPE. But where did I learn it from?
I read somewhere that ‘We need HOPE like we need air.’ I couldn’t agree more. But I also read that ‘Hope is a function of struggle. We develop hope not during the easy or comfortable times, but through adversity and discomfort.’
This blew my mind!
Hope is not an optimistic possibility. It’s actually PERSEVERANCE. That even if there is a risk of disappointment and loss, I am persistent and will try and find new paths again and again, by believing in myself. Believing that most setbacks in life our temporary. Even in the darkest of times, I can say- This too shall pass.
Sounds familiar right? I guess I learnt it from Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban (my favourite), when Dumbledore suggests that “Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light. That to me is HOPE!
Hope is learned.
In the book, Atlas of the Heart, Berné Brown suggests that to learn hopefulness, children need relationships that are characterised by boundaries, consistency and support. They must be given the opportunity to struggle and in doing that they learn how to believe in themselves and their abilities. That is how HOPE seeps deep into our conscience.
But don’t think that hopelessness and despair won’t knock on your doors. They will. Thus, it becomes imperative to find the light at the end of the tunnel- that light is HOPE.
In order to practice hope we must learn new ways of thinking about what we want to achieve and why.
Firstly, reevaluating our needs and reality checking our goals.
Often in comparison with others, we lose sense of our priorities and values. The quicksand thoughts are of self blame and criticism. Only through resilience and trusting yourself, can you come out of that.
Secondly, not letting shame ride us on the thoughts of starting over if our plan fails. Never forget that it’s the determination that leads one to success.
When we lack these skills, even small disappointments can grow into hopelessness and despair.
Life is difficult for everyone and we are all doin the best we can. Acknowledging and naming our emotions is like building a home for COMPASSION and EMPATHY.