“Nothing is in our hands”, said everyone on their journey to enlightenment. Isn’t it just a BS thing to accept?! For a person like me who has everything planned, even the worst things that can happen have been well thought of. When something unexpected and new happens, I panic! From people’s emotions to God’s plans, nothing I have any control over, and with that powerlessness exists chaos. I contact every person on my list that can help even minutely. Any suggestions that can make me feel better, at peace, or show me the light at the end of the tunnel because the last thing I want to do is to have ‘Patience’. The big ‘P-word for me is a nightmare! Just it’s mention brings anxiety. My fight and flight responses are on high alert and that is not healthy for me or anyone for that matter in the long run.
My therapist told me in one of our heavy sessions that healing begins with acknowledgment. “What! How is that going to make me feel better?” I blurted out. As doctors, we are taught early on to have a ‘find the solution’ approach in life. So, to acknowledge the problem and do nothing about it was a new concept for me altogether.
But now, when I have begun my healing journey, I can say that acknowledgment is the door that opens the path to healing. On my journey to this realization, I have come across many personal experiences along with the words of highly celebrated people that have led me to believe in the same phrase, “have patience”. Aaron Doughty in one of his videos suggested that even in the most uncomfortable situations, keep calm, let it happen, stay with the discomfort and things shall change.
A priest once told me a story about a King, while walking through his territory with the Queen he came across a wise man. This wise man staring right into the soul of the King says. “ Here, take this piece of parchment and open it when you have seen an extreme”.Taking the parchment the King chuckled and said “ Well the life I live is pretty extreme” and left. A few years later, the region is hit with a drought, wars, and many different calamities, ending up at the end of the King’s reign. He is now on the road with no riches and the unexpected loss of power and control on his life was the extreme despair the King had ever seen and then his wife remembered about the wise man’s words and they both open the piece of parchment, it said: “ If that extreme did not last, neither will this.”
My mother reminds me of this story and says “Patience is a virtue” every time I complain about things going out of my hand and I now have faith that things will get better, one day at a time. For now, I am struggling with the big “P” and am sure I will eventually find my calm. All I have to do is acknowledge the reality and accept it how it is. Recalling back, it is true none of the saddest moments of my past have lasted, the empty ground has the potential of turning into a rose garden, but roses require patience.