I cannot believe it has been almost two years since I have been on a first date. I listened to a podcast a while back where they suggested dating like scientists. I thought it was super fascinating and I wanted to try it out as well. So, I made notes of my pre-date rituals. I would listen to some of my favorite songs from Bollywood movies (yes, most of them are Govinda songs). I would wear the new blouse that I never get to wear, as I hardly ever go out. I would also stay up a little late to learn new makeup techniques that would complement my outfit and wake up all excited to go out on a date with a stranger.
All these preparations are not for the guy. They are for me. I am so consumed by all the anxiety and negative thoughts in my mind about putting myself put there to be judged by someone and risk my heart getting broken. But, that podcast taught me that when scientists experiment, they are not scared of failure. Rather every failure brings them closer to success. And that goes with dating as well. Instead of focusing on if someone will like you or reject you, you wire yourself to enjoy the date. Asking fun and insightful questions, learning more about the other person than trying too hard to come across as interesting. When you do that, you let go of the pressure on yourself and let your true personality come out.
And that is the best way you date. To let the other person get to know the real you. It can be a task sometimes for an overthinker with an anxious attachment style like me. Good for me, I met someone who understood all this and gave me some time to ease my way back into the dating pool. He waited very patiently for months for our first date. I thought I would go out on a date only when I was ready- less stress in life, 5 kgs less, good hair day, etc. I guess that would have never come. But, the right person makes you believe that your ‘Now’ is pretty amazing too. It makes you emboldened enough to try something new.
I guess I do date amazing men, and hopefully, I am getting closer to finding the luckiest one.